So today I was just scrolling through Facebook and I came across a quote that really stuck out to me and it really inspired me to write a post about it;
‘Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket’ – Unknown (If anyone does know who wrote this please let me know!)
This really got me thinking…For many of us we tend to find happiness in the wrong places. Whether thats our job, our relationships or even money. I’ve always believed that happiness is a choice, and you can easily decide when you want to be happy and when you don’t. Last year I went through a phase in my life where being happy seemed like the hardest thing in the world. People would always tell me just be happy, don’t let other peoples actions ruin my mood or bad situations bring me down. Through this time I realised I really couldn’t switch back on the happiness like that. It’s really not that easy. Putting something to the back of your mind and pretending to be happy wasn’t an option. I couldn’t do it. But in fact I’ve learnt that its okay to feel crappy once in a while, it’s okay to cry about things that you’re upset over, it’s okay to want to sit in your room and shut everyone out. If it’s what you need to do, than you do it!
I’ve been guilty of depending on other people for happiness, and I’m sure lots of other people have, When that person leaves it feels like the end of the world and the only way to be happy again is for them to come back. A lot of people feel the need to put on a brave face and pretend everything’s okay when in reality it isn’t. Whether it’s losing a relationship or a friendship, you need to allow yourself time to grieve. Breaking up with someone or losing someone is a painful process, as cheesy as it sounds a broken heart is one of the worst pains. Healing takes time, but eventually the days get easier and you’ll start to love yourself again… I found another quote which fits perfectly into what I’m saying here;
‘If you ever lose love, don’t go out looking for it. Reach inside you and recreate what you think you lost. You are love. You can’t lose you.’ – Unknown
You shouldn’t have to depend on a person or a relationship to make you happy. There is always a possibility you will lose that person, but you will ALWAYS have you. Yes, relationships are wonderful and they add so much more to our lives, but they are not here to provide a constant happiness that we can’t find in ourselves. You are a complete and whole person without a relationship.
This is just the same for jobs, don’t let your happiness depend on your next pay day, or your next promotion at work. Don’t let your happiness depend on how many Instagram or Twitter followers you have, or how many likes you get on a profile picture. While these will bring fleeting pleasure this isn’t happiness.
I’ve seen a lot of people (myself included) that get themselves caught up with the past and the future. We can’t change the past, that’s just something we can’t do. We also can’t tell the future, I can’t tell you what will happen to me next week, I can’t tell you what grade I’m going to graduate with or what the weather will be like. I can have a pretty good guess but I don’t know for definite. This is just something that we have to live with. Instead of wishing to change things in your past and trying to prevent things that may or may not happen in your future, find happiness in this moment. There are a lot of things I wish I could change in my past but I’ve realised everything thats happened to me has shaped me into the person I am now, and while ghosts from the past do creep up from time to time, I’ve learnt to embrace it and appreciate both the good and bad.
Don’t let your happiness come from the approval of others, you are beautiful and amazing. Don’t hold grudges! This is an important one, don’t hold a resentment to someone, because all this will do is eat you up inside. I’ve been there before and while holding a grudge against someone seems like the easiest option, it’s the one that makes us hurt the most. Forgive people. Forgiving someone who has hurt you will give you the closure you need to move on, learn how to make peace with people who have wronged you. You are not doing it for them, you are doing it for you. Don’t let your happiness depend on how much weight you lose because you need to get that summer body. If you’re comfortable in your own skin then who is to tell you, you are not beautiful!? Embrace your body, embrace your look. Be the best YOU, you can be!
Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes, embrace, learn and grow with it. I’m going to leave you with one last quote to end this blog post!
‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken.’ – Oscar Wilde
Until next time..
Lots of love,