A little list of things to leave behind in 2017…

  • Leave your past behind – The past is in the past and no matter how hard you try and change that it will still remain there. Let it go. The more you keep looking back the more you’ll miss out on what is happening right now.

 

  • Leave the hate behind – Leave whatever hate you’re feeling inside of you and try and learn forgiveness. Forgive people that never said sorry, forgive people when they don’t even deserve it – don’t continue to feel hate because you’ll end up hurting yourself more.

 

  • Leave that lack of confidence – Stop listening to the voices in your head telling you that you’re not pretty or good enough. I can honestly say that it’s a load of crap. You are more than enough. Learn to love and look after yourself – the change has to start with you.

 

  • Leave behind comparing yourself to others – Don’t head into 2018 comparing yourself to people, you are on your own journey and walking completely different paths. The more you focus on someone else’s journey the more you’ll lose sight of your own.

 

  • Leave behind the things and people that don’t make you happy – You need to look after yourself first, leave behind the guilt you feel when what you want doesn’t match up with what someone else wants. This is your life, you’re not a puppet. Go and live it for you and only you.

 

  • Leave behind your phone – Physically leave it at home. We have become so attached and dependent on our phones and social media that we are missing what is really happening in the world. A text or a notification can wait, but the people that matter to you are in front of you now, and you never know for how long.

 

  • Leave behind perfection – Stop thinking that perfection equals happiness. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Imperfections are part of who we are, it’s what makes us – us! Just try and remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be happy. You just have to be you.

 

  • Leave your comfort zone – Go and do things that you have never done before, try new foods you’ve never tried, go and travel to different countries you’ve never seen. Be bold, daring and brave. Go out and experience new things. There’s a whole world out there – don’t be afraid to step outside of your bubble, you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find.

 

  • Leave behind your mistakes – Whatever mistakes you’ve made in 2017 let them go. You don’t need to bring them over into 2018 – what’s happened can’t be changed but you can learn from your mistakes, it will help you grow into a better person. Don’t let them define who are you for the rest of your life – instead of letting your mistakes break you, let them build you.

 

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Mental Health with Made In Chelsea…

Recently we had the pleasure of interviewing Made In Chelsea girls Lauren Hutton and Natalie Joel. They talked about how important getting help really is and what it did for them, why they chose The Blue Tree Clinic, experience with eating disorders and the pressures of body image with social media. I hope you enjoy these little clips, and hopefully one of these topics speaks to you.

Here the girls talk about why they chose The Blue Tree Clinic and what sort of help we offer.

The girls talk about how therapy helped them in their personal lives and what they’ve learnt from it.

The last 2 videos are my personal favourites, the topics they touch on are so important and need to be talked about more. It’s so sad to see how much social media plays a part in the downward spiral of so many people, Lauren and Natalie talk about how its affected them and how they’ve learned to deal with it.

 

 

I’m sure everyone at some point has compared themselves to someone they’ve seen on social media, whether that’s someone they know or a celebrity. It’s so important to realise that you are so beautiful and worthy just the way you are. You don’t need to change anything about yourself for other people to love you. Self-confidence isn’t something you are going to stumble upon one day , it’s created. It’s built by strong men and women who fight voices in their head everyday which tell them they aren’t good enough. It’s created by people who empower one another and not by people who bring each other down. Be kind always. You never know what someone is going through.

One last thing, don’t be afraid to talk about your problems. Don’t ever feel that your problems don’t matter because they do. Doesn’t matter if you speak to a friend, parent or a psychiatrist, talking to someoneĀ will get you on the right path to recovery. I know talking to someone is a scary and daunting thought, but believe me it’s worth it, you won’t seem so alone.

Don’t let your demons win. You are and have always been stronger than them x

 

My Favourite Books…

I’ve always been a huge fan of reading, I find that it’s a great way to relax and for everything just to be still for a little while. In this post I wanted to show you guys some of my favourite books that I’ve read recently – these range from novels to poetry to autobiographies. I hope you take whatever inspiration you can and maybe go ahead and purchase one of them yourselves! You won’t be disappointed.

In no particular order šŸ˜‰

  1. Reasons to Stay Alive – Matt Haig

I got reccomended this book by a friend, I had never heard of it before or heard of the author, now it has to be one of my favourite books ever. This book is a healer. The writer talks about his personal experience with depression from the very lows to coming out the other side and how even now he still faces struggles. I couldn’t put it down because I was so emotionally attached to his story, it made me want to cry, smile, laugh and scream. I think one of the most amazing things about this book is that he recognises depression and anxiety as an illness and not just some inconvenience. He see’s it from both sides, someone suffering and watching a loved one struggle. He’s not afraid to show how dark depression can actually be and I think that’s why it’s one of my favourite books, he’s brutally honest about his experience but also talks about just how amazing life can be when you finally start to heal.

2. Milk and Honey – Rupi Kaur

I am a huge fan of poetry, and this book is the reason why. I started following Rupi Kaur on Instagram as I came across a few poems she had written. When I started to fall more in love with what she was posting I had to buy her book. It’s beautiful. It may be a book full of poems but it tells a story of survival, loss, abuse and love. Each part of this book deals with a different pain, it definitely comforts a broken heart. I think every girl at some point will be able to relate to what she’s saying, and I think that’s why I fell in love with it, because at some point in my life I have felt some kind of pain which somehow she has made into beautiful poetry.

3. Angels Walking series – Karen Kingsbury

This isn’t just one book, it’s 3. Karen Kingsbury is my favourite authors. I’ve been a huge fan of her since I was a teenager when I first read one of her books when I was on holiday. From them on I have fallen in love with her work, I own a lot of her books so it was hard to narrow it down, but these 3 are the most recent. The first book is Angels Walking and I got it for Christmas 2015, and I think I read it in about a week. The thing with Karen Kingsbury is she has a way of connecting with her audience that you can’t physically put the book down. I’m a huge fan of the lovey dovey novels where there is always a happy ending and the two people in the story always end up together. I love crying when reading, you know it’s a good book when it makes you cry. Angels Walking is a beautifully crafted story of love and loss, you root for the main characters and find yourself in the story. Just like the next two books of the series ‘Chasing Sunsets’ and ‘Brush of Wings’ you experience more heartache, she focuses on new characters and intertwines all the stories together. She’s an incredible writer that has you hooked from the beginning. If you’re wanting a book that you can’t put down then I recommend Karen Kingsbury.

4. Broken Flowers – R.M Drake

R.M Drake is another author that I first started following on Instagram, just like Rupi Kaur he has a good way of putting what you’re feeling into words that are beyond beautiful. Not only is he an American author but he is also a self-acclaimed street artist. His work is seen across all the major cities in the US. In this book instead of focusing on longing and loving he writes more about friendship, memories and honesty. The way you can relate to hisĀ work is what makes it stand out, there is a poem in there for everyone. It brings comfort to you when you need it most in the smallest of passages. His work is simple but beautiful.

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5. Spaceship – R.M Drake

Another R.M Drake book, this is one of his older books and I love the way he describes it as ‘A collection of words for the misunderstood.’ I think that in itself makes you want to buy it. This book is less ‘wordy’, but there is art and design attached to the quotes. It’s very short and sweet and wouldn’t take you long at all to read it, but I would find myself re-reading certain quotes over and over again. Again, R.M Drake never fails to disappoint.

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5. Her – Pierre Alex Jeanty

Jeanty is a American author and poet, ‘Her’ is my most recent purchase after yet again falling in love with his quotes through Instagram. (Great place to find some amazing poets!) One of the most beautiful things about this book is that he writes about the beauty and strength of women, it is a beautiful expression of heartfelt emotion which he portrays perfectly. Every girl should pick up this book, you’ll come away from it feeling empowered and inspired, and I can’t stop reading it over and over again. It’s one of my favourite purchases and I’m so happy that I stumbled across his writing. – ‘If there is a lover in you, you will not get enough of Her.’

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6. Unfiltered – Lily Collins

Lastly is the only autobiography that I own, now I’m not a huge fan of autobiographies, they don’t interest me in the slightest, but this one isn’t like any other. It’s a personal story of Lily Collins where she talks about her struggles with anorexia, troubled relationships, her father, her love for baking, her struggles with body image and so much more. She reveals the most personal parts of herself and lays it completley bare for everyone to read. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful and I didn’t realise just how much I can actually relate to her. I’ve been a fan of Lily Collins for a while, I’ve always enjoyed whatever movie she has been in, but this book makes my love for her even greater. She isn’t afraid to talk about her lowest points in her relationships, how she struggled to love people with addictions, how she struggled with anorexia and bulimia from a young age and how now she has such a great love for food. She writes a heartbreaking letter to a dad, and makes you realise that loving yourself is the best thing you can do. I can’t recommend this book enough.

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I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and maybe you might even purchase one of these.

Lots of love,

R x

My letter to you…

Dear you,

I’m sorry that right now, life isn’t going the way you planned, that every day seems a little worse than the last and nothing you could try to do can make it better. I’m sorry that you’re sad, that no one or nothing can numb the pain, not even for a second.

I want to say I know what it feels like because I’ve been there, that feeling of loneliness and unstoppable tears. I know what not being able to eat feels like and lying awake thinking ‘how the hell does this get any better?’ I know what it feels like to have no energy to do anything, no energy to smile or move, to just lie there, feeling nothing. I know what it feels like and in some way I hope that brings you some kind of comfort. But I know what I felt like isn’t the same as what you’re feeling or going through.

It’s impossible to control how you’re feeling, the way the darkness creeps in and just takes over your life bit by bit. I know you try to smile and try to put on this front, but you can only keep it up for so long before everything comes crashing down. Because this feeling wins. It always wins. Thats what you tell yourself anyway. Theres no hope.

I’m sorry that right now the dark is so familiar that strangely it feels like home. But please don’t get used to it, please don’t settle and believe you will never get out of this place. I know words sometimes don’t help and that nothing I can say will ever shift how you’re feeling right now but I hope you start to try, it will hurt like hell but please try.

I know you’ve been struggling for a while, and in some weird way I guess it never really does leave you. You do make it through to the light but you still have the past and the memories of what it was like. You still can remember the pain, but those demons don’t have that power anymore. You’re so much stronger than that.

I know that right now, it sucks. You have no direction, no hope, no nothing to wake up to and want to start the day. But I hope more than anything you just hang in there. Just hold on to the smallest piece of light, because it may not feel like it now but that small piece of light will soon become the sun and you’ll soon smile again.

You’ll start to laugh and hang out with friends. Breathing won’t seem like such a task and you’ll start to enjoy peoples company. You’ll look at different types of food and actually want to eat it, the smell of it doesn’t make you feel quite that sick anymore and you look forward to trying new things. You’ll wake up in the morning wanting to make yourself look nice, and when you look in the mirror you don’t flinch away. You smile. You see anĀ unbelieveablyĀ strong person and you start to fall in love with yourself. You’ll start to appreciate the little things, like how blue the sky can actually be, or the sound of the waves when you walk along the beach. The laughter of couples that are sat in restaurants as you walk by and the way it can go from being so dry one minute to absolutely chucking it down with rain, and you’ll just stand there, taking it all in, because for the first time in a long time you can actually feel again. And it feels so good.

I know it may seem like a long way off, but I hope more than anything you just hang on to that image. Where you’ll smile again and it will be the most incredible moment.

One last thing, please talk to someone… please don’t hide away and keep it all to yourself. Yes you are incredibly strong but sometimes having people to talk to takes the weight off just a little bit. Don’t ever feel ashamed or embarrassed. You’re fighting something that sadly defeats a lot of people, but don’t let it defeat you. You are stronger than you know and having people to fight with you makes it seem a little easier.

Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. You’re not. Hang on to that. Hang on to hope.

You’ll soon breathe again, and I can’t wait for the day that you do.Ā 

x

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A little inspiration for 2017…

Since 2016 is drawing to a close and we’ll soon be heading into 2017 (which is a scary thought!) I wanted to do a blog on some of my favourite quotes I’ve fallen in love with this past year, which hopefully will give you some kind of comfort, guidance and inspiration for 2017.

2016 has been a crap year for a lot of people, relationships have ended, people have lost their jobs, the loss of family members and friends, and it’s hard to pick yourself back up once these things have happened. I’ve come across a lot of inspirational quotes from some amazing authors and poets which put a lot of things into perspective. Whenever you’re feeling a little down I hope you read some of these and find a little comfort šŸ™‚

 

  1. ‘And her heart was the best part, it would always calm the storm for those who were afraid of a little rain.’ – R. M. Drake

 

2. ‘Don’t think. It complicates things. Just feel, and if it feels like home then follow it’s path.’ – R. M. Drake

 

3. ‘Never again, in this life or the next will I give someone the power to destroy me. No longer will I be reckless with my heart. I won’t force a love that isn’t meant to be, nor will be afraid of being alone, I will fall in the deepest love humanly possible. Love of self.’ – R. M. Broderick

 

4. Ā ‘It is supposed to hurt, my child. That is why there is water in your eyes and blood in your veins. If we knew no pain, we wouldn’t have known truth, and truth, my child, is the soul of the universe.’ – Christopher Poindexter

 

5. ‘Fairytales are more than true: not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.’ – G. K. Chesterton

 

6. ‘Every door leads somewhere. Every chance is a blessing. Every song, every movie, and every book is another world. Every person you meet will change your direction. Every person you love will strengthen your connection. (The one to yourself.) Every moment you spend looking, something breathtaking will be found. And above all, every time you feel broken, someone will be there to help you heal. You have to hope for all of these and believe in them…so you can learn to live better. This is how you will find paradise.’ – R. M. Drake

 

7. ‘Either no one knows what it is like to be alone because no one truly is. Or everyone knows what it is like because everyone truly is. I believe we are all in this together – more than your tired heart will ever know.’ – Christopher Poindexter

 

8. ‘If you are broken and they have left you, do not question whether you were enough. The problem was you were so enough they were not able to carry it.’ – Rupi Kaur

 

9. ‘What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? that since day one, she’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not.’ – Rupi Kaur

 

10. ‘Give yourself time to heal. It is okay to get your heart broken. It is okay to shatter and slip through the cracks a few times. For the world wants you to believe that loving yourself is an illness but none of that is true. Take the time to love yourself. Your body isn’t broken. Your body is marvellous and you are more than what they expect you to be. You are everything they could never understand: love and light mixed together and all things that blow with the wind.’ – R. M. Drake

 

11. ‘Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.’ – John Green

 

12. ‘If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all.’ – John Green

 

13. Ā ‘You have to allow yourself to break apart. That’s the only way you’re going to know what you’re made of. Let yourself go. Let yourself fall. Let yourself drown. Let yourself shatter. And above all, let yourself get hurt. Do all these things and know…how you have to really know your demons to defeat them. Befriend them to destroy them. Love them and walk with them. That’s the only way you’re going to bloom.’ – R. M. Drake

 

14. ‘Choose everyday to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed, and most of all worthy of love.’ – Alison Malee

 

15. ‘Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.’ – Carl Bard

 

Don’t let the thought of going into 2017 scare you, let it excite you. Get ready to start a new year being who you’ve always wanted to be, go and do things you’ve always wanted to do and believe that anything is possible.

Just know that better days are coming. x

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