If you haven’t listened to Miranda Amess already then I highly recommend you should – an independent artist she is releasing her new track ‘You and I’ on Friday 24th November.
After supporting singer songwriter Janet Devlin at the Deaf Institute in Manchester, Miranda took a little break from performing and put all her focus into writing new material. Working alongside Generation Studio, her new track ‘You and I’ marks her movement from acoustic singer-songwriter to Alternative Pop Artist.
She has previously been played by the likes of BBC introducing and continues to make her mark on radios locally and internationally.
Her music incorporates electornic influences, which resonates with her soulfully pure vocals. Her unique style is inspired by the likes of Sia, Dua Lipa and Lauren Aquilina.
I’ve known Miranda since university and I had the pleasure of playing keys for her for a while – not only is she a great performer but her writing skills are on another level. You and I is by far the best track I have ever heard from her.
Straight away it is catchy as hell – one listen and I was addicted. It definitely has influences of electronic and rock music in there to give it a bad ass girl kinda feel. Her vocals as always sound incredible on the track, she really knows how to write a great song to show off her voice and her lyrics are really something else. She constantly delivers and You and I is just proof of that.
I can’t wait to see where this track will take her!
So I am SUPER excited to be publishing this post because the one and only Ron Pope was able to answer some of my questions!
I’ve been a fan of his music for a long time so I’m over the moon about this 🙂
So if you’re having a really chilled sunday and want some afternoon reading then check this out!
I hope you guys enjoy!
When did you first get into writing songs?
‘I started messing around writing songs with my friend Chris when we were maybe 12 or 13. He’d come by my house with his classical guitar and we’d try to figure it out. Our first tune was called “Up In The Night.” It sucked. Then I wrote other songs that sucked for a long, long time.’
Do you have a routine with writing songs? Is it lyrics or music first?
‘I don’t have a set process. Sometimes it’s a lyric, sometimes it’s a melody or a guitar riff or some little piano part. I’m not precious with it; my songs come from all sorts of different places.’
What inspires you to write?
‘Depends on the song. Sometimes it’s a real life experience that I’m narrating from point A to point B; other times it has to do with a particular idea or emotion I want to get across. Sometimes it’s just a feel or a musical thing I want to explore.’
Do you have a favourite track of yours? If so what is it?
‘Right now, I am really having fun playing “Let’s Get Stoned.” That’s probably my favorite tune to play.’
What has been the highlight of your career so far?
‘We played on a tribute for Aretha Franklin earlier this year at Carnegie Hall. During the encore, I felt a big hand on my back. I turned to my left and there was Sam Moore with his arm around me. We sang harmonies into the same microphone during “Respect.” That was pretty surreal. I was like “Oh my God, am I a soul man? I feel like this means I’m a soul man!” “Hold On I’m Comin” and “Soul Man” are two of the touchstones in my life. I felt like the coolest person in the world and like a complete nerd all at the same time.’
What artist/band inspired you to start writing your own music?
‘Too many to name. I always wanted to write tunes and so many artists inspired and continue to inspire me.’
If you could collaborate with any artist who would it be?
‘Alive or dead? Hendrix, without question.’
How would you describe your music in 3 words to someone that hasn’t heard it?
‘Absolutely not reggae.’
If you weren’t a musician what career path would you have chosen?
‘I don’t really have any other skills; I’d be screwed if this didn’t work out. I just knocked on wood.’
What advice would you give someone who is wanting to start writing and releasing their own music?
‘Start by doing something good. If you’re writing songs, wait to release them until you believe what you’re doing is competitive with the artists you look up to. That’s who you’re competing with. You’re not trying to be the best songwriter in Atlanta; you’re trying to become peers with your idols. Don’t jump out of the gate too early; once you release music, it never goes away. Take time and hone your craft.’
Where do you see your music in 10 years time?
‘I hope that we keep reaching more people each year. I’m going to keep making records and touring. I will do what I do to the best of my ability until I can’t anymore. In ten years, I’d like to be more or less just like I am now, but better at all the things I do.’
If you want to check out Ron Pope there are some links below to his pages and music;
Since 2016 is drawing to a close and we’ll soon be heading into 2017 (which is a scary thought!) I wanted to do a blog on some of my favourite quotes I’ve fallen in love with this past year, which hopefully will give you some kind of comfort, guidance and inspiration for 2017.
2016 has been a crap year for a lot of people, relationships have ended, people have lost their jobs, the loss of family members and friends, and it’s hard to pick yourself back up once these things have happened. I’ve come across a lot of inspirational quotes from some amazing authors and poets which put a lot of things into perspective. Whenever you’re feeling a little down I hope you read some of these and find a little comfort 🙂
‘And her heart was the best part, it would always calm the storm for those who were afraid of a little rain.’ – R. M. Drake
2. ‘Don’t think. It complicates things. Just feel, and if it feels like home then follow it’s path.’– R. M. Drake
3. ‘Never again, in this life or the next will I give someone the power to destroy me. No longer will I be reckless with my heart. I won’t force a love that isn’t meant to be, nor will be afraid of being alone, I will fall in the deepest love humanly possible. Love of self.’ – R. M. Broderick
4. ‘It is supposed to hurt, my child. That is why there is water in your eyes and blood in your veins. If we knew no pain, we wouldn’t have known truth, and truth, my child, is the soul of the universe.’ – Christopher Poindexter
5. ‘Fairytales are more than true: not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.’– G. K. Chesterton
6. ‘Every door leads somewhere. Every chance is a blessing. Every song, every movie, and every book is another world. Every person you meet will change your direction. Every person you love will strengthen your connection. (The one to yourself.) Every moment you spend looking, something breathtaking will be found. And above all, every time you feel broken, someone will be there to help you heal. You have to hope for all of these and believe in them…so you can learn to live better. This is how you will find paradise.’– R. M. Drake
7. ‘Either no one knows what it is like to be alone because no one truly is. Or everyone knows what it is like because everyone truly is. I believe we are all in this together – more than your tired heart will ever know.’ – Christopher Poindexter
8. ‘If you are broken and they have left you, do not question whether you were enough. The problem was you were so enough they were not able to carry it.’ – Rupi Kaur
9. ‘What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? that since day one, she’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not.’ – Rupi Kaur
10. ‘Give yourself time to heal. It is okay to get your heart broken. It is okay to shatter and slip through the cracks a few times. For the world wants you to believe that loving yourself is an illness but none of that is true. Take the time to love yourself. Your body isn’t broken. Your body is marvellous and you are more than what they expect you to be. You are everything they could never understand: love and light mixed together and all things that blow with the wind.’ – R. M. Drake
11. ‘Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.’ – John Green
12. ‘If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all.’ – John Green
13. ‘You have to allow yourself to break apart. That’s the only way you’re going to know what you’re made of. Let yourself go. Let yourself fall. Let yourself drown. Let yourself shatter. And above all, let yourself get hurt. Do all these things and know…how you have to really know your demons to defeat them. Befriend them to destroy them. Love them and walk with them. That’s the only way you’re going to bloom.’ – R. M. Drake
14. ‘Choose everyday to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed, and most of all worthy of love.’ – Alison Malee
15. ‘Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.’ – Carl Bard
Don’t let the thought of going into 2017 scare you, let it excite you. Get ready to start a new year being who you’ve always wanted to be, go and do things you’ve always wanted to do and believe that anything is possible.
Sorry it’s been so long since I last posted! I got really inspired to write this post earlier this week, on monday I graduated from university! WAAHHEEEYYYY!
I can’t quite believe that 3 years has gone just like that, I’m so happy to have finally graduated but also really sad at the same time. That was my life for 3 years and now its over. Now I’ve graduated I have to officially be an adult (which is slightly daunting)
I’ve put together a few pictures from graduation –
For lots of people life after graduation is scary, you have to jump into the real world and figure out what you want to do. Some people have already figured out where they want to go, and I’m looking at myself thinking ‘I really have no clue.’
It’s not that I don’t know what to do exactly, it’s more of ‘how can I get there?’ I have goals and dreams of what I want to achieve out of life but trying to find the right path to lead me there is tricky. I started uni with my whole career planned out, by the end of it my career goals had completely changed, and thats okay to change what you want to do, just because you once wanted to do something else and now you want to try something different, thats pretty amazing. You’ve been figuring out what you want to do, and at least you know for sure that its something you really want!
Fear of the unknown is natural, for most of our lives we’ve been on a schedule with school, college, uni and all the rest of it. But now, we are out in the world with no teachers telling us what to do or how to get there. For the most part we have to figure it out by ourselves, and that’s a scary thought, it’s okay to be afraid. But don’t let that fear stop you from fulfilling what you want to get out of life. Don’t let it make you unmotivated and stop you from even trying, don’t let it stop you from taking risks.
‘The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.’ – Eleanor Roosevelt
The things is, the sun will come up tomorrow just like it always has done, and just like it always will (unless you live in Manchester than most likely it will be rain) but you are given 2 choices at the beginning of each day…you either live your life or you don’t. You either try or you don’t. And my god I really hope you choose to try, I hope you breathe in every moment and take opportunities that scare you. I hope you laugh every day and choose to love people so deeply. I hope you stand up for what you believe in and choose to have a forgiving heart, because the truth of the matter is, whatever comes next whether it’s that dream job you’ve been hoping to land or you move in to your own place, this world will continue to go on. The sun will continue to rise and set, and life will continue to surprise you.
I’ve always been a huge believer in forgiveness, that forgiving someone heals you, helps you stand up a little stronger than before, helps you be someone better. It helps you move on from people that have wronged you, and not live with a bitter heart.
‘Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart.’
Forgiveness is a second chance, it’s a chance to not make the same mistakes. I’ve learnt through this past year that people make mistakes, painful mistakes which leave you broken all over the floor, too broken to pick yourself up, too broken to even think about forgiving them.
But I found that holding a grudge against someone made me angry, made my whole body ache, I could see it turning me into a cold heartless person that would flip out on people for no reason, I started to become nasty towards people that were only trying to help me. I thought forgiving someone for the unforgiveable made you weak, but infact its one of the strongest things you can do.
Forgiveness gave me healing, none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, not because we are bad people, but because we are human. What good would holding a grudge do? What good would it do if I stayed a bitter angry person? So I learnt to forgive. When you forgive someone, in a weird way you kind of feel set free, I had this image in my head that if I didn’t forgive and I held a grudge, they would feel so bad that eventually they would come running back and say sorry. But that didn’t happen. But I learnt in time that’s not the right or healthy way to go about things, forgiveness grants you the opportunity to let go. To let go of whoever has hurt you, or whatever pain you’ve felt, to be set free from whatever demons keep dragging you back. It’s a beautiful thing to forgive because you’re giving yourself a chance to be free again, to live.
I’ve forgiven people that I guess didn’t deserve it, that never asked for it, never made the effort to make an awful situation a little brighter, but that’s okay, because I think now that everyone deserves forgiveness, because where would we be without it? Try and not stay angry forever, it won’t do you any good, and you’ll never give yourself a chance to be happy again.
Remember, pain is temporary… I know that now, it doesn’t last, no matter how painful it seems at the time it soon fades and with time you start seeing that your days can once again be bright, and that is such a beautiful thing. Forgiveness taught me that I am stronger than the hell I went through.
I chose forgiveness then and I choose it now. Why hold on to something that is hurting you longer than it should? Forgive and then walk away. Forgive them and set yourself free, you’re not doing it for them, you are doing it for you.
Forgive when your heart has been broken into a million pieces, you’ll soon start to piece them back together. Forgive when people don’t treat you the way they should, forgive when the one you fell in love with betrays you. Forgive them. It may take all the strength and energy you have left but believe me, it’s worth it. You may think forgiving someone means they have won, but it isn’t a game. So forgive them and move on.
Once you do you’ll start to heal, you’ll start to grow back your wings that were once damaged on the floor, you’ll start to smile and you’ll start to believe in happiness again.
Hope you’re all doing well and having a great week! This post is a very different one but I’m really excited about it as I’m doing a blog on Johanna Alba’s beautiful EP ‘Silent Confirmation’
I’ve never ‘reviewed’ anything before and I’m not entirely sure how to go about it, but I love listening to music and I love writing so I’m just going to type away.
Johanna Alba is a Singer/Songwriter that is currently based in Manchester. She has influences of Jazz and Pop and combines them to create beautiful, easy listening songs.
So, If you haven’t already purchased this EP I highly recommend that you do, I fell in love with the tracks as soon as I listened to them.
She starts of the EP with the song ‘Silent Confirmation’. It’s a very mellow and chilled song, and has a Norah Jones feel to it (which I absolutely love). The whole song just reminds me of relaxing on a Sunday afternoon reading a good book. It just has that kind of feel where it automatically makes you feel at ease. I love when music can do that, makes you feel calm and at peace with everything. The whole song is just guitar and vocals all the way through, but she does an incredible job of keeping your ears interested. The melody of both vocals and guitar blend so well together, and the first time I listened to it I got shivers. Personally this track is my favourite from the EP, and while all the other tracks are sensational, this one reminds me why I love being a musician, the lyrics and music fit perfectly together. It’s a beautiful masterpiece.
Next up is ‘Can’t Stand Your Love.’ This one is a lot more upbeat than ‘Silent Confirmation’ but still has that easy listening vibe to it. This song will make you want to get up and have a dance, I felt myself tapping away listening to this. I love the way she shifts between rhythms throughout the song, it definitely mixes it up! Everyone loves a song where there’s a subtle dig at someone who didn’t treat you right 😉 I think this song is perfect for that, it’s also more upbeat than your typical sad heartbreak songs (which isn’t a bad thing) but this brings something fresh and new to the table. I’m now humming the melody, it’s very catchy…
Following on from that is ‘Runaway’, this song starts off pretty similar to the first track, where it’s just guitar and vocals, but then builds up for the chorus. My favourite bit of the whole song is the chorus, I’m absolutely in love with the vocals, Johanna has no problem hitting the high notes and does a beautiful job at hitting them with ease. Lyric wise this is my favourite, Lyrics I think for any song are definitely a HUGELY important factor, and she does amazing job of connecting the lyrics with the music. If you’re wanting some chill out music this song is a perfect fit.
Next is ‘All I wanna do’ – straight up this has such a groove ( I tried thinking of another word other than groove to use, but I think groove is the only word that fits this song) Yet again this song is so easy listening, she just keeps bringing amazing vibe after vibe but every song is so different. I think this song is perfect for putting it on in your car, with the roof down (or windows…the image of a convertible is always better though) with the sun blazing and the wind blowing through your hair, perfect drive music. Kinda like a movie scene. I’m sure everyone has pretended to be in a movie scene in the car at some point, next time use this track 😉
Lastly is ‘The Break’ this one is a lot more simpler than the other songs, this song doesn’t really need much because I think the lyrics carry this song. The harmonies and backing vocals just bring this song to life, and to be honest made me a little sad, But I love it when a song makes you feel that much emotion, she’s telling a beautiful story which is captivating from the start of the song to the very end. I think this was a beautiful song to end on, as it finishes off the EP perfectly and somewhat magical.
If you want to buy her EP you can purchase it on iTunes or listen to it on Spotify.
Website – www.facebook.com/johannaalbamusic
(You won’t regret buying it!)
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, it was something very different! Like I’ve said I’m not a music reviewer and I don’t know if theres a certain way people do it but I just typed what I liked about the songs!
Anxiety is a tough one to explain. It’s also something people aren’t very comfortable talking about. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve been dealing with anxiety for a long time just like many other people. To a lot of people that don’t suffer with it, it’s very hard to understand, even as someone dealing with it I still don’t get it either.
My anxiety can affect me in numerous ways, and believe me it really isn’t an enjoyable experience. Like I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, last year wasn’t a great year, and from then on my anxiety just got progressively worse. Even the little things turned into such huge problems. My anxiety made everything seem worse than it really was. It made me overthink things constantly.
My anxiety can affect my relationships with people in my day to day life, I break a little when I think that someone doesn’t like me, and I know that’s not a healthy mind-set to have, I shouldn’t go out of my way to try and impress everyone because that’s not possible. I’ve changed who I am many times to try and fit in with everyone, because the thought of not being liked scares me to death. Before everything happened last year I really didn’t give a crap what anyone thought about me, or what I was posting on Facebook or Instagram or how many likes a profile picture got, I wasn’t bothered when someone didn’t text or ring back. I was so calm and not fazed by anything. Fast forward a year and a half and I’m the complete opposite. To a lot of people I know it sounds pretty stupid and I can totally see why but to me it seems like the biggest thing in the world. If I text someone and they don’t reply I automatically think ‘what have I done wrong?’ ‘Do they not like me anymore?’ I will start getting myself into a state where all I can think about is this text. Hours can pass and I’ll still be focused on why this person hasn’t responded, I’ll go over previous conversations to try and get any explanation from it, everything soon starts to revolve around this one message. I never used to be like that, and it’s awful to think that my mind has turned into something like this but unfortunately I have to deal with it, some days its a lot easier to handle and other days its harder, but anxiety isn’t something that can disappear when you click your fingers, it’s a day to day struggle.
One of the main struggles that today I still face, and is one of the hardest things, is the fear of being left alone. I know that probably sounds quite silly and even writing it seems a little stupid but my anxiety can build up to a point where I think everyone hates me.
During points in my life I’ve been left to deal with stuff alone, I’ve been left at my lowest times and it sucked. Big time. But somehow I managed to get through it, but with that came the fear of being left alone. I’ve never been the type of person to need someone else to make me whole, or need someone to be happy, I can do that perfectly by myself, but the thought of being in a situation with someone, or a friendship/relationship and being left, terrifies me. It will get to a point where I will try and do everything to make that person stay but results in me just pushing them further away. My anxiety will make me think so many things are wrong so I have to act on it, because it obviously must be true if my anxiety is telling me that it is…I have pushed so many people away because I’ve reacted to stuff that didn’t need a reaction, because my mind was telling me it did. I think I was so used to people leaving that I almost expected it when the next person came along, I thought I knew what was going to happen and I just started counting down the weeks or months until this one just got up and left. I thought this was a healthy way to handle it, because if I constantly prepared myself for them leaving, it wasn’t going to hurt that bad. I was anxious at every argument if this was going to be the one to make them leave, I was anxious at every time I would see them, would this be the last time? I still struggle with this, but I always take each day as it comes and try to be grateful for each day I spend with the people I love.
I love being around people, in big groups, gatherings, parties and the rest of it. But in this last year sometimes big crowds can make my anxiety hit the roof. I’ll have to get up and leave and try and find somewhere alone. Don’t get me wrong I love going out with friends and enjoying time with them, but at the same time I also love spending time alone, which I don’t think is a bad thing. Sometimes my anxiety will be a lot worse on some days and I won’t want to go to the party or see my friends, I cant really explain it but I just have to be alone. I don’t really want to talk or see anyone. I just want my own company really. Especially now I’m in a happier place I love being on my own. I’ll read, or write songs, or play the piano, or watch stupid videos on YouTube, or write blog posts! 😉 I think it’s healthy for people to spend time alone.
I’m also a very anxious traveller. I’ve never been that great at travelling anyway, but if I know I’m going on holiday or somewhere with a long distance travel, my anxiety goes crazy. I will start freaking myself out before we’ve even set off, and most of the time once the journeys started and settled I’m normally okay, it’s just the first thought. It’s worse when it comes to flying, I don’t trust planes, and I’ve watched enough air crash investigation to put me off for life. I think it’s the fact that I can’t get off, with a train, bus or car you can get off as there are stops or you can just pull over, with a plane you can’t really land it when you need some fresh air. The thought of being trapped in a small space with lots of people makes me sweat just thinking about it. I’ll try and do everything to calm myself down but normally my anxiety doesn’t let me. So travelling isn’t really a fun experience, but as I’ve said before I take it step by step. I’ll try and do things to distract my mind so it wont go into overload.
My anxiety is not just awful for me but for the people around me, and I don’t think I realise just how much it can effect them. Some days I just feel really anxious for no particular reason and just want to stay on my own, but to some people I think they find it hard to grasp that if nothing particular has gone wrong then why are you in a bad mood. I wish it was easy to explain, but I literally have no answer for that, some days are bad days and sometimes there isn’t a reason why. I have to try and be patient and understanding of the people around me, because it must be a nightmare trying to deal with me. But at the same time they also need to be patient and understanding because you are constantly struggling with it, you need to meet half way.
If I’m ever feeling anxious and need to leave the situation or whatever it is I’m in, I’ll normally go and read. Reading helps calm everything because I’m not focusing on me, I’m focusing on this story. It’s a great way to spend some time out. Another way to calm my anxiety is going for a run. Running is a good way to clear your head, I almost feel like when I’m running, I’m running all the anxiety out of me. I think it motivates me even more.
I struggle with anxiety every day, and I know people can be embarrassed or afraid to talk about it, which is understandable. It’s not something that is easy to talk about or easy to explain, but it’s something that is so real to so many people.
More people than we think face it, and just taking it day by day and doing things suited to you will make it easier. If you ever feel anxious don’t force yourself to do something, have some time out, because anxiety is basically…a proper bitch. Do what feels comfortable for you.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post! I don’t think anxiety is talked about enough, so I just wanted to give my side of things!
It’s been forever since I last posted because I’ve been so busy, and I’ve come home for a long weekend to have a relaxing break!
I thought I would post this as I have officially finished university! 3 years has flown by super fast and I’ve met some of the best people. So I thought this post would be a look back at some of the best moments at uni. (Cheesy, I know)
SO, I remember moving to Manchester 3 years ago, I can’t remember the exact date, but I know I was very excited and extremely nervous. I had a room booked at the very classy MSV (C126 to be exact).
It’s weird looking back now and remembering moving in so clearly. I wasn’t living on my own though, I lived with my good friend Dom Major. I obviously didn’t know him at the time, but he seemed an alright chap when I first met him. Dom was one of the first people I ever met at BIMM, and we’ve been friends ever since, although there was a point where I debated our friendship because that boy played John Mayer on repeat. I then met and became good friends with Heather and Ciara, and these 2 pretty much made first year for me!
I remember starting lectures and thinking how it easy it was, it was so much fun just to write songs and play them for the class. Since the year I was in, is the very FIRST year to graduate BIMM Manchester…the lessons and work were a little all over the place, and I can’t even remember what work we had to do. I kind of remember freaking out over a 300 word essay thinking ‘OH MY GOD, SO MANY WORDS.’ I obviously didn’t know what third year would bring…
Once lectures had settled in, I then became friends with one of my favourite people, Owen. My first thought of him was that he was a complete weirdo and I still think that now. We got on so well, and we soon started writing songs together, watching disney movies and talking about how hot Idris Elba is. Here is one of my fave pictures of Owen (you can tell how weird he is from this picture)
So far, first year was going grand, and it wasn’t until christmas time of first year that I started talking to the other half of Muth, Megan. We have been inseparable ever since. Honestly, attached at the hip.
One of the worst stand outs in first year was the End of Term gig just before we broke up for summer. Meg and I had wrote the smash hit ‘Home’ and we were performing it in Factory, which is where the gig was held (awful). This performance had to be, hands down, the WORST PERFORMANCE EVER. It was bad, not a little bit pitchy bad, but both in completely different keys bad. BAD. People were actually covering their ears it was that bad. Here is a picture from that night, it still hurts to look at it, it brings back such out of tune memories…
One of the funniest pictures from first year has to be this one of Matt and I. I will never get over his haircut in the picture, I love it. Underneath all that hair though is a wonderful human who I’ve shared some very fond memories with – and some very awkward ones. (We will never go see a theatre performance again…)
So that was first year over! I was dead excited to start second year as I had booked a flat with Meg and Charlotte, and I was just excited to see what second year would bring.
I remember moving into to our new flat to start second year, we were on the 12th floor, and the view was AMAZING. I could literally stare out of our kitchen window for hours and not get bored, it was beautiful. Before lessons started a bunch of us decided to go to 5th Avenue for a night out. It actually was one of the funniest nights ever, it was such a good way to start second year. Although this was the night that glandular fever decided to make an appearance. I haven’t been back in 5th Avenue since…
Once I survived nearly dying, second year had started and I already loved it. Looking back, second year was my favourite year. Not necessarily because of the lessons or work (obviously), but just the people. We did so much stuff that year, and I met so many new people that I didn’t even think went to BIMM! One of the highlights is obviously meeting this wonderful human, Romario. Quite possibly the funniest person I have ever met. He always used to say hi to me in first year and I would runaway from him because I was creeped out by the fact he was so nice and confident. (We laugh about it now) We became such good friends in second year and he is still one of my best mates.
Second year consisted going to a lot of open mics, which I loved. It was a great place to hang out and see the talent at BIMM. It was a shame that some of these got cancelled, but I’m glad I went along when I did.
Here’s a shot of Muth and Akcadamy enjoying Novus Open mic at the very start of second year!
Another highlight of second year was my 22nd birthday, it was such a good night and I had the best time with the best people. I ended up drinking a little too much… but it was absolutely brilliant. We ended up going to Deansgate locks and having a good old dance. I remember texting Meg about 10 times once we had all gone to bed saying ‘I’m definitely going into Toms 9am lecture, definitely.’ I never made it obviously… (I hadn’t died or anything, I was just super hungover and the thought of cultural perspectives actually made me throw up.)
One of my favourite tutors from first year decided to leave us all… we had a goodbye celebration at black dog (obviously) and just had a really chilled night! I did drink more wine than I thought I did, I also thought I was incredible at pool…I wasn’t. Heres a few shots of us from that night!
The lessons were a little heavier than first year, but I still enjoyed them! Although Research Methods was a killer, I never enjoyed that. I remember performing at the End of Term gig before the summer break, and this time it went well! I was over the moon with how well it went, and I was so looking forward to my last year!
We always knew how to finish each year in style and it wouldn’t be complete without a group photo!
So, third year had arrived. The first term of third year wasn’t a great term – so fast forward a few months till after christmas and this is where I started smiling again. I had just come back from a trip to Paris, where I had filled myself up on pastry and cheese so I was ready for the new term!
Meg and I were living in our own little cosy flat, which then later got infested with a family of Mice, which wasn’t pleasant. Once the mice had kindly left (died), we were able to go in the flat and not be scared to sleep with the light off. 😉
Third year pretty much consisted of WORK, WORK AND WORK. So many essays, I spent so much time in the library. I don’t think anyone was that social in third year, because no one had time. I did celebrate some birthdays though and I did give myself a break or two.
I also started rehearsing again for my own band! I had been writing loads of new songs and was so excited to bring them to the band! I’m so proud of where it’s going, it’s taking it’s time but I’m loving the journey I’m on. These guys are just incredible! (Also my drummer looks like Jim Chapman) Here’s me and the band –
A HUGE highlight from third year had to be when I met Ludovico Einaudi, I got to interview him for my dissertation and it was the most amazing experience. One I will never forget. What a talented man! I also went to see him live the night before which was unbelievable, I had been wanting to see him for ages but he was never in the UK. I would 100% go and see him again, what a magical night.
Once I had completed and handed in all my work, the girls and I decided to celebrate with having lunch in the sun! (I ended up getting sunburnt on my head) but it was so worth it.
So, that has been my 3 years of Uni in one blog post. Obviously there have been so many amazing memories I could’ve talked about but I would’ve been here forever! My uni experience has been one I will never forget, I’ve had the most amazing time at BIMM, and some of the worst times but I made it out and finished with a HUGE smile of my face. I’ve met some of the best people, and some of the most talented. I can’t believe 3 years have gone by, but what an incredible journey, and I can’t wait to see what we all do next…
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve been busy doing uni work and stressing massively. Super fun combo.
Anyway it’s that time again for another favourites post, so if you’re stressing about essays, why not take a little break and read this.. 😉
So… I FINISHED MY DISSERTATION!!! This deserves to be in capitals because it’s that big of a deal! I’ve only just finished it too but my god I’m glad it’s over. I’ve spent so much time in the library that it kind of felt like a second home, plus it’s full of books and I love books. So that’s great. But my relationship with the library is now over…
I went to the most amazing food festival over the weekend in Malton. I love food festivals because I love food and I love eating. I ate so much on the weekend and it was nice to have a break from all the stress of uni! There was lots of live music and drinking and I saw loads of old school friends which was lovely! I think I’ve put on about 2 stone over the weekend, I can’t even explain to you guys how much I actually ate. It wasn’t normal. Here’s a picture of me and my friend enjoying an ice cream in the sun 🙂
I celebrated some friends birthday! Jess and Shamyra had a party at Revs, and it was a cracker! Yet again, I ate a lot and just enjoyed people’s company! Also Jordan, Liam and I created a new sport that should be part of the Olympics now. It will honestly go down in history. It involved furry balls (sensible please) a party hat and my AMAZING throwing skills. We did look rather strange and got a lot of funny looks, but who cares when we’re standing on the podium with a gold medal. Won’t be so funny then. 😉
One of the proudest things I’ve accomplished this month is the release of my first ever instrumental single. I’m SOOOOO proud of it, and I’ve been so overwhelmed by the response. I wrote it in October last year when I was going through some rough stuff and I just wanted to write something that didn’t have lyrics in it. Mainly because at the time I couldn’t even begin to write down what I was feeling, so I let the music do the talking. If you haven’t already heard it, here’s the link so you can check it out…
Another favourite is that some of my blog posts are now being published on websites! Which is amaaaazing. People are really enjoying what I’m writing and I absolutely love writing these posts! So thank you very much for all your support 🙂 If you want to check out my published posts, I’m featured on writeforhealing.com and heylittlerebel.com. (Also some more exciting news will coming soon) EXCITING.
I watched an amazing interview this month, when reading this it probably doesn’t seem that riveting, but for some reason I just found it so inspiring, so I thought I would share it with you guys. I’m not going to explain it because the video does that itself, and you can probably tell what it’s about just from the title. But I do recommend giving it a watch.
I haven’t really been to many gigs this month, purely based on the fact I haven’t had time. This month has just been dedicated to working on my uni stuff and working at the arena! But I did go see some of my closest friends perform at the Ritz basement. (Yes, the Ritz has a basement) I saw the lovely Megan Dixon-Hood who just so happens to be my flat mate and the other half of Muth. She’s always a delight to watch, I’m a proper fan girl. I’m not even kidding when I say I know every song off by heart. I watched Romario and the beautiful Jess Lebon perform, I was dead impressed with the whole night and I may have had a little boogie at the end of the night too. All in all a very successful night.
Another gig I went to was to watch the legendary Akcadamy. These guys always deliver and yet again I’m a huge fan girl. I’m not normally a massive fan of rap but Kc and Adam (hence the spelling of AKCADAMY smart eh?) literally make me fall in love with it. I love watching them, and they always like to take their shirts off too…which I’m not complaining about, they are more than welcome to carry on doing so. They have some absolute bangers which you can’t help but sing along.
Check them out on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/akcadamy/?fref=ts
Sorry it hasn’t been much in this post! Like I said I’ve been slaving away doing essays! I hope you’ve enjoyed anyway and I shall see you very soon with another post!
I hope everyone has had a great week and a lovely weekend so far.
So…I’m really nervous about doing this blog post but I just felt like I needed to write everything down. I think this is probably the most personal blog post I’ve ever written. So here goes…
Today hasn’t been the best day, I’ve found myself crying at points throughout the day and couldn’t really seem to switch it off. Some days I get like this, and that’s because I’ve been through an awful lot in my 23 years of being on this earth, that sometimes it just gets a bit to much for me.
Today was one of those days.
Today I realised that humans break easily. I don’t know why I’ve just realised it today. I thought I was the only one that kept breaking and trying to fix myself. Turns out I’m not.
I’ve been broken before, I’m not talking about a broken bone or anything like that, I was broken as a person and my heart was completely shattered all over the floor, that even now I’m still trying to piece back together. I lost myself as a person, I didn’t know who I was anymore, I would wake up every morning and cry, wander around aimlessly not really knowing what I was doing, I didn’t eat. I think the most I had in a day was a packet of crisps and an apple, so obviously that didn’t go down well as I lost about 2 stone in the space of 2 months. But I had no appetite, I was that broken that even eating seemed pointless.
I’ve been hurt before, whether that being a fall out with a friend or an argument with somebody, and it gets you a little upset. You have a cry and then you move on. You get over it. This time though I got the feeling this wasn’t something I just had to ‘get over.’ I had to learn from it and understand it and eventually the process of moving on will come. I couldn’t just click my fingers and suddenly everything was ok again (believe me, if I could do that I would) but you can’t. I had to take time and that was the thing that sucked most about it all. Time.
It felt like forever. Each day seemed harder and harder, and the days just kept dragging. I just wanted to get out of Manchester and go home, but then when I went home I just wanted to be in Manchester. I wasn’t happy wherever I was going. Weeks passed and nothing had changed, I was still this broken mess that wasn’t getting any better. I had no idea what to do, I didn’t want to do anything but wanted to do something. If that makes any sense. Friends would try to cheer me up or take me places but I just wanted to be on my own and cry. I remember actually looking forward to the evening so I could just cry on my own in my room because I needed to let it out, it actually hurt keeping it in all day.
My mind was just constantly playing tricks on me, I was constantly trying to fight it but through those months it just kept winning. I kept thinking ‘how will I ever be okay again?’ I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, I couldn’t even see a tunnel, I was just in darkness. I was constantly on edge and scared of everything. There was no hope, I couldn’t find any, it got to a point where I just thought ‘Right, this is it. I’m done.’
I remember it was mid November, and it was freezing outside and raining. (Obviously, it is manchester) and I had just woken up from my 4 hours of sleep, which was what I was getting each night. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t, my brain wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t looking forward to the day as usual, each day I was just waiting around to see what kind of torture today would bring. I remember heading off into my lecture in the afternoon, but had to leave early because even sitting down in a room full of people with everything going on just flipped me over the edge. I think I was in that lecture for about 10 minutes before I left. Even 10 minutes was too hard for me. I remember heading down to Bristol after that lecture to stay with a friend, for the first time in about 3 months I was actually looking forward to going somewhere. It was only a small excitement, tiny in fact. But it was something. That weekend was the first weekend in 3 months I laughed. I don’t mean giggled or a really crap fake laugh. I mean crying from laughter. Which was amazing because every other time I cried I was crying because I was sad.
That weekend I’ll always remember, the weather was awful and I got soaked through on each day, but I laughed. I laughed properly. I even ate a full meal and actually managed to stomach it. We didn’t do a ridiculous amount on that weekend but that weekend was a turning point, and it was only when I was walking around Bristol on the evening with all the lights and my friend by my side that I actually thought ‘I’m gonna be okay.’
From then on, I’ve just kept getting better and better. Some days, like today are not so great, but I have to deal with it and grow with it. I know tomorrow will be better. I started eating again, I started going out and actually having a good time, I started getting a good nights sleep, I started to enjoy peoples company and not constantly wish to be alone. I started to be kind to myself and love myself. I started to live again.
Looking back on what happened to me is hard, but it’s a story that I am so proud of. I’m never going to be ashamed of what I went through and neither should you. Whatever that is.
I’ve learnt that we all broken. We are all trying to fill in the cracks. We are all trying to face life the best way we can. Instead of constantly being broken on the floor, I decided I’m going to take my broken pieces and make them beautiful.