Tag: sad

A little list of things to leave behind in 2017…

Ruth IbbotsonLeave a comment
  • Leave your past behind – The past is in the past and no matter how hard you try and change that it will still remain there. Let it go. The more you keep looking back the more you’ll miss out on what is happening right now.

 

  • Leave the hate behind – Leave whatever hate you’re feeling inside of you and try and learn forgiveness. Forgive people that never said sorry, forgive people when they don’t even deserve it – don’t continue to feel hate because you’ll end up hurting yourself more.

 

  • Leave that lack of confidence – Stop listening to the voices in your head telling you that you’re not pretty or good enough. I can honestly say that it’s a load of crap. You are more than enough. Learn to love and look after yourself – the change has to start with you.

 

  • Leave behind comparing yourself to others – Don’t head into 2018 comparing yourself to people, you are on your own journey and walking completely different paths. The more you focus on someone else’s journey the more you’ll lose sight of your own.

 

  • Leave behind the things and people that don’t make you happy – You need to look after yourself first, leave behind the guilt you feel when what you want doesn’t match up with what someone else wants. This is your life, you’re not a puppet. Go and live it for you and only you.

 

  • Leave behind your phone – Physically leave it at home. We have become so attached and dependent on our phones and social media that we are missing what is really happening in the world. A text or a notification can wait, but the people that matter to you are in front of you now, and you never know for how long.

 

  • Leave behind perfection – Stop thinking that perfection equals happiness. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Imperfections are part of who we are, it’s what makes us – us! Just try and remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be happy. You just have to be you.

 

  • Leave your comfort zone – Go and do things that you have never done before, try new foods you’ve never tried, go and travel to different countries you’ve never seen. Be bold, daring and brave. Go out and experience new things. There’s a whole world out there – don’t be afraid to step outside of your bubble, you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find.

 

  • Leave behind your mistakes – Whatever mistakes you’ve made in 2017 let them go. You don’t need to bring them over into 2018 – what’s happened can’t be changed but you can learn from your mistakes, it will help you grow into a better person. Don’t let them define who are you for the rest of your life – instead of letting your mistakes break you, let them build you.

 

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A Little Inspiration – Part Two

Ruth IbbotsonLeave a comment

So about this time last year (maybe a little later) I posted a blog of my favourite inspirational quotes to take into 2017, so over this past year I’ve fallen in love and saved some new ones! I love these kind of posts because sometimes all it takes is a few sentences to really touch home  – I love when a piece of writing can become something personal.

So if you’re having a bad day, week or year then I hope these quotes give you that little bit of comfort or that extra push you needed to go out and be brave.

Choose, everyday to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed, and most of all worthy of love. – Alison Malee

What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? that since day one, she’s already had everything she needs within herself.  It’s the world that convinced her she did not. – Rupi Kaur

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. – Omar Khayyam 

They’re scars for a reason, they don’t hurt anymore but they’re there to remind you of all the things you lived through. The moments that almost killed you and ones that made who you are. Stay strong. – R.M Drake 

Beg no one to stay when they decide they want to leave. Your love is not a cage for wild hearts, it is a gift to be well received. – Nikita Gill

The world gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it, there is nothing purer than that. – Rupi Kaur

Whatever makes you feel the sun from the inside out, chase that. – Gemma Troy 

One of these days, you will see that your pain is the reason why you’re still here. This is how we make art. This is how we beat the monsters. – Erin Van Vuren 

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. – Herman Hesse

Maybe theres something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters. – John Green

We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in. – Ernest Hemingway

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky, and you ask ‘What if I fall?’ Oh but my darling, what if you fly? – Ernest Hemingway

If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all. – John Green

If you are broken and they have left you, do not question whether you were enough. The problem was you were so enough, they were not able to carry it. – Rupi Kaur

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See you soon with another blog x

 

Be your own Valentine…

Ruth IbbotsonLeave a comment

So Valentines Day is fast approaching and to lot of people that means celebrating it with the person you love. But to a lot of people it means spending it alone. With a bottle (or 2) of wine and the biggest box of chocolates you can find.

Don’t get me wrong it’s lovely when you have someone special and you spend the day with them, enjoying each others company, but why all the emphasis on this certain day each year? Shouldn’t we love and be loved all year round? To a lot of people spending Valentines Day by yourself can be quite a depressing thought, but before you resort to going on tinder and swiping right to the first human you see, why don’t you be your own Valentine.

SO, if this year you’re spending Valentines Day alone then I hope this makes you feel a little comfort 🙂

You don’t NEED someone else in your life to make you happy on Valentines Day or any other day of the year infact. You can do that perfectly by yourself. So before you start searching for someone to fall in love with you, start by falling in love with yourself.

Start embracing the way you look and love every part of yourself, appreciate your talents, be your own best friend and for once stop caring how other people see you. Its the way you see yourself that really matters. You’re so amazing and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Enjoy your own company, I know for a lot of people that can be hard – but take yourself out on dates. Don’t wish and wait for someone else to do it. Take yourself to that movie you’ve been wanting to see for ages, go to an art gallery or museum and take lots of photos, go to that cute little cafe on the corner and order whatever the hell you want. You know that love you’ve been giving out to everyone else? Well for once maybe use some of that on yourself.

It’s hard to stay on track and not get distracted. We forget that we are capable of being there for ourselves, we are so much stronger than we think we are and sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for us to realise that. Though you may not feel like it right now, you as an individual are a whole person, you are so complete on your own.

The world out there is much bigger than just this one day of the year. Valentines Day does not define you as someone who isn’t capable of being loved. You are so much more than that. So, this year embrace being your own Valentine. Be happy being on your own and don’t wish it away. Be happy with just being you, you are pretty damn great just as you are x

(If you do find it hard this time of the year, then The Blue Tree Clinic is offering discounted counselling therapy, just quote Valentines using your contact form – The Blue Tree Clinic )

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My letter to you…

Ruth IbbotsonLeave a comment

Dear you,

I’m sorry that right now, life isn’t going the way you planned, that every day seems a little worse than the last and nothing you could try to do can make it better. I’m sorry that you’re sad, that no one or nothing can numb the pain, not even for a second.

I want to say I know what it feels like because I’ve been there, that feeling of loneliness and unstoppable tears. I know what not being able to eat feels like and lying awake thinking ‘how the hell does this get any better?’ I know what it feels like to have no energy to do anything, no energy to smile or move, to just lie there, feeling nothing. I know what it feels like and in some way I hope that brings you some kind of comfort. But I know what I felt like isn’t the same as what you’re feeling or going through.

It’s impossible to control how you’re feeling, the way the darkness creeps in and just takes over your life bit by bit. I know you try to smile and try to put on this front, but you can only keep it up for so long before everything comes crashing down. Because this feeling wins. It always wins. Thats what you tell yourself anyway. Theres no hope.

I’m sorry that right now the dark is so familiar that strangely it feels like home. But please don’t get used to it, please don’t settle and believe you will never get out of this place. I know words sometimes don’t help and that nothing I can say will ever shift how you’re feeling right now but I hope you start to try, it will hurt like hell but please try.

I know you’ve been struggling for a while, and in some weird way I guess it never really does leave you. You do make it through to the light but you still have the past and the memories of what it was like. You still can remember the pain, but those demons don’t have that power anymore. You’re so much stronger than that.

I know that right now, it sucks. You have no direction, no hope, no nothing to wake up to and want to start the day. But I hope more than anything you just hang in there. Just hold on to the smallest piece of light, because it may not feel like it now but that small piece of light will soon become the sun and you’ll soon smile again.

You’ll start to laugh and hang out with friends. Breathing won’t seem like such a task and you’ll start to enjoy peoples company. You’ll look at different types of food and actually want to eat it, the smell of it doesn’t make you feel quite that sick anymore and you look forward to trying new things. You’ll wake up in the morning wanting to make yourself look nice, and when you look in the mirror you don’t flinch away. You smile. You see an unbelieveably strong person and you start to fall in love with yourself. You’ll start to appreciate the little things, like how blue the sky can actually be, or the sound of the waves when you walk along the beach. The laughter of couples that are sat in restaurants as you walk by and the way it can go from being so dry one minute to absolutely chucking it down with rain, and you’ll just stand there, taking it all in, because for the first time in a long time you can actually feel again. And it feels so good.

I know it may seem like a long way off, but I hope more than anything you just hang on to that image. Where you’ll smile again and it will be the most incredible moment.

One last thing, please talk to someone… please don’t hide away and keep it all to yourself. Yes you are incredibly strong but sometimes having people to talk to takes the weight off just a little bit. Don’t ever feel ashamed or embarrassed. You’re fighting something that sadly defeats a lot of people, but don’t let it defeat you. You are stronger than you know and having people to fight with you makes it seem a little easier.

Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. You’re not. Hang on to that. Hang on to hope.

You’ll soon breathe again, and I can’t wait for the day that you do. 

x

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Depression is a disease. Not a choice.

Ruth IbbotsonLeave a comment

This post is probably one of the most honest things I’ve ever written. 

Aching. Tired. Alone. Scared. Exhausted. Miserable. Sad. 

You feel not good enough. You start to doubt yourself in every aspect of your life. You think you are not loved. You think you have no one. You start to constantly think about rock bottom, that this place you’re in now there is no coming back from. No one can hear you cry or scream, there wouldn’t be any point.

You believe that this is what life will be like now, its awful, horrific, the worst pain you’ve felt. But in some weird and twisted way you kind of get used to it, you get used to feeling not enough, you get used to feeling alone. You remember when you used to see the sun shine and how it made you smile, now it doesn’t make you feel anything anymore. But thats normal now. That’s how it will be from now on.

You try to think of when you were happier, when every day was filled with the sound of your own laughter, and how you loved going out with friends, but just as quickly as that memory comes it goes. This dark cloud won’t leave you, it enjoys your sadness, it feeds off your pain, there is no way you will ever win this demon.

Your friends call, they ask if you’re okay, but you don’t know how to respond. It feels like they are too far away to help you. They bring you things : food, water, company. Things that you needed so much in your old life, but now these things don’t matter anymore, they don’t really seem that necessary. That’s not your life anymore, all your wants and needs are blurred and nothing is clear. You just lie there. Awake. Unable to sleep.

Depression wants you to suffer. It wants you to feel that there is no hope, no light, no nothing. That life is just one big black hole. After a while the suffering starts to become familiar. You get used to crying every morning and every night. You get used to not sleeping or eating. You have no energy, you can’t smile, talk, laugh. You used to see bright colours, but now all you see is grey. No smiling, no laughing, no nothing.

People tell you to ‘just cheer up‘ – believe me, I would’ve loved more than anything to of been able to ‘just cheer up‘ or to ‘just be happy‘ again. So you start to avoid people – friends and family. You see strangers on the street – couples holding hands, families, young children, groups of friends. You don’t want to see them, you don’t want to see other people being happy when thats the one thing that you can’t be.

You feel guilty and ashamed to ask for help. No one would help you anyway, depression is just a silly word. So you put it off, you don’t ask for help and you keep living each day just as miserable as the last. But the thing is, depression isn’t ‘just a silly word‘. It’s not something to be ashamed of, it lies and tells you false truths. But my god depression is powerful. Its unpredictable and so so real.

The stigma behind depression keeps a lot of it’s issues and problems in the dark. It’s not easy to talk about, it’s very hard to grasp onto. I came across this really interesting article by Matt Haig – he goes on to say how suicide is now the leading cause of death in men under 50. With that statistic so plain and clear to see, how is depression not being talked about more, not being showed the attention it needs. Depression is a killer, it shouldn’t take a death for people to realise that.

There is life after depression, it may not seem like it at the time, but one day you will go on to live again. Hang on to that.

‘Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.’

x

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